As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize