I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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