you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
