How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just want nice things and good sex
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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