I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize