Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
