Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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