my mouth tastes like poor choices
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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