this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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