This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
