I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
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you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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