I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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