weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I know her cup size but not her name....
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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