my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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