2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
