Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
