You're my little dorito
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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