With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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