We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
