how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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