She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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