Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
