I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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