D3 body, D1 cock
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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