I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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