We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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