I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You're like the curious george of whores
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
