What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
