That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
