No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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