I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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