If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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