Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
