She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
