Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
