If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
