May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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