i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i was born a porn star she said
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
