Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
