if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
where does the pee come out of this thing
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize