This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i out mim tonsoeep
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