Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
