Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Shame - the story of my life.
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