Screwed.edu
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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