I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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