If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Randomize
