Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
