my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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