Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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