Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
