Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize