Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
