And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
