I wish I could punch you in the face.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
