She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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