Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
