the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
