Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
