you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
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they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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