ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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