we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
