My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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