i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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