I looked at my own cervix.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
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So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
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The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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