last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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