Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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