THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Let's paint friendship bongs
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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