can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
